If you are unfamiliar with Craiglist then simply it is a bizarre and at times filthy corner of the internet in which teenagers, business men, housewives and sexual deviants post anonymous ads either selling or requesting goods and ‘services’. Craiglist is vast and sprawling so this post will solely focus upon what it has to offer you in the Welsh capital, Cardiff.
1. Nipple Worshipper
The first ad I have seemed to have stumbled across was under the ‘Casual Encounters’ section which basically acts as a Welsh meat market I suppose. One classified ad particuarly caught my eye in which a male calling himself the ‘nipple worshipper’ is in search of a ‘breast godess’. The whole Craiglist ad poetically reads: “35 yr old with almost unlimited ability and wish to feed on the most juiciest and succulent of breasts and nipples. You will be my personal breast goddess and I will be super nice to u. Slim and athletic I am about 5 ft 6. Totally clean and discreet as will you be too. Anybody out there?” And who said romance was dead hey? In terms of being ‘totally clean’ this gentleman seems to be suggesting that a communal fairy liquid bath may be neccesary before proceeding.
2. The Worst Room Ever
This is possibly the smallest and worst room you could find in the Cardiff area. Listed under the housing section of the website the ad describes this room as ‘a great private room in a three bedroom apartment’. I mean private is putting it nicely, more like Privet-Drive-Harry-Potter-locked-under-the-stairs-private.
3. Worn Knickers For You
The third bizzare anonymous ad I found was one in which a ‘slim’ 28 year old woman from Cardiff suggests she can take pictures of herself in a wide range of lingerie and then send both the pictures and the lingerie to ‘anyone for any purpose’. So if there are any entrpenuers out there looking to quickly and cheaply produce a lingerie line then this is the woman for you! (There is a picture with this ad and if you are really that bothered you can go search and view it for yourself, but to save you the horror I won’t display it here).
4. Surrogate Fundraiser
Finally, while exploring the ‘wanted’ section of this wonderous website I came across a most intriguing ad in which a person has stated that they are wanting to have a surrogate and but states “while I am financially stable I don’t have 60,000 to pay out in one go”. A nobel cause indeed, whether this surrogate fundraising is legitimate or not is questionable but what an ice-breaker that would be “yeah so my Dad raised like £60K on Craigslist to fund my birth, and then found someone else on there to carry me in their womb”. Not exactly your traditional family setup but hey its 2014 for goodness sake…
If you feel like this a community that you want to indulge in or you are just interested in the secret sex lives of you neighbourhood or more innocently just needed a spare watering can, not a euphemism I promise, then go ahead and visit Craiglist. But for those of you who need to leave this blog immeadiately and have a nice hot shower to cleanse you body and soul, I say to you go. But do come back again in the future, I’ll keep it clean!