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Miss Loveth Toure is no ordinary woman, this voluptuous, curvaceous glamazon of a woman is in dire need of help. She is held up in a Senegalese refugee camp, after a civil war tore her homeland and family apart. Oh and did I mention she wants me to look after $3.7million? That is until of course she starts a new life with me in the UK.

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Miss Loveth was even kind enough to send me these two very professional looking model shots. Who said refugee camps couldn’t be glamorous? But gurl, pull that weave down!

Thankfully I can identify a serious email scam from just another piece of junk email (in part due to a very educational VICE documentary which can be found at the bottom of this post). But the fact it by-passed Hotmail’s multiple security walls and landed in my inbox was both alarming and intriguing, but also suggests the scammers’ techniques are becoming more sophisticated.

But library boredom was in full force with January assignment after January deadline, and so oddly enough I thought it would be sort of fun to reply and begin an e-relationship with Miss Loveth Toure. Of course I was apprehensive, totally in agreement with what Beyonce, Kelly and the ‘book-end’ said in 2001 “I don’t think they can handle this!”

Cautiously I replied to Miss Loveth, being careful not to disclose any other personal information, bar my email address which the scammers had already seemed compromise. Consequently I went on to create the identity of Derek McMahon, a 32 year old estate agent from Belfast. Single, lonely and with little immediate family, I was the perfect mark for these internet scammers.

The following correspondence is in no way censored or altered. This is 100% Miss Loveth Toure. My goodness the woman doesn’t hold back, she wears her heart on her sleeve and knows exactly what she wants.

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The following messages display that I may have got a little too involved with the character of lonely middle aged Irish Derek and that I have a bit too much spare time on my hands:

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I had to end my correspondence with Miss Loveth Toure due to serious underlying trust issues. I thought that was the end, but heartbreakingly enough she got in contact just a few days ago. Let’s just say she doesn’t hang around long!

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So stay safe out there kids and remember all that matters is love and trust!

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